


Smells Like Coffee

by Comp_Lady



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: Alternate Universe, Humor, M/M, Romance, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-01
Updated: 2011-12-01
Packaged: 2017-10-27 12:47:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/296021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Comp_Lady/pseuds/Comp_Lady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not everything is a coincidence and sometimes reality could be cheesy.<br/>Barista AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smells Like Coffee

_Welcome to FriendsChat! Please remember not to share your personal information and have a nice chat!_  
**VividBlue has logged on** _[6:58 pm]_  
**Fassinating has logged on** _[8:14 pm]_  
**Fassinating** _[8:15 pm]_ :isifkwhoegwiowggwihgihoesilfho bleh  
**VividBlue** _[8:16 pm]_ : lol hard day luv?  
**Fassinating** _[8:17 pm]_ : Like oyu don’t' even npow, I hate moving.  
_< <[8:17 pm]: _*you *know  
_< <[8:18pm]:_ See I can't even type I'm so tried  
**VividBlue** _[8:19 pm]_ : Do you mean tired? :)  
**Fassinating** _[8:21 pm]_ : … hush  
**VividBlue** _[8:22 pm]_ : Maybe you should go to bed? It wouldn't do for you to fall asleep on your keyboard  
**Fassinating** _[8:22 pm]_ : Then I wouldn't get to talk to you though :(  
**VividBlue** _[8:23 pm]_ : and that is tragic  
**Fassinating** _[8:23 pm]:_ IT IS!  
_< <[8:23 pm]:_ talking to you is the best thing happens in my day most of the time  
 ****  
   
"Are you daydreaming about your favorite sharp dressed customer again?"  
   
James leapt away from the display, almost dropping the wire basket of bagels, "No! No, no I wasn't."  
   
Erin, a short girl with plain brown eyes and brown hair, eyed him over the edge of her red glasses from where she had been contemplating the coolatta mixes at the other end of the aisle.  
   
James turned back to the display case, sorting out the bagels into their appropriate display baskets, "I was not; I was… am sorting bagels.  
   
"Keep talking; your pants will light up like dry grass in a wildfire. You were staring at the cinnamon raisin bagels with this dreamy look on your face. I know people joke that all men need is a warm hole to be happy but, dude, come on. Really?"  
   
"ERIN!"  
   
"I'm just sayin' that it might be a bit uncomfortable." Erin shrugged, "And there ain't any shame in lusting after a fine piece of man my dear."  
   
Trying his best to resist chucking the bagels at his coworker James sorted the last of the bagels, "Will I need to decorate more donuts or are we good?"  
   
"You're avoiding the subject."  
   
"No, I'm not. Donuts, do we need more?"  
   
"No, we're stocked up just fine on donuts. Now about Mista Bond."  
   
Mr. Bond was not actually named "Mr. Bond". In all honesty James didn't know the names of _most_ of the regulars that came in during the morning shift. The name was coined for the man by Erin after his first visit.  
   
It had been around noon, James and Erin had just finished cleaning up and their shift was gearing down when he walked in. James had to admit, in retrospect, that he did look like he had stepped straight out of an old spy movie. With his hair smoothed back and the well-cut pinstriped black suit, the first buttons on the charcoal grey shirt undone. It had taken no small amount of James self control to stop him from gaping like a fish. Erin had been anything but helpful at the time, leaving James to greet the man while she rearranged the mini cream cheese tubs and snuck glances out from under the brim of her hat. He had ordered his coffee (small, two sugars), tipped, and made his way out. James managed to get through the entire exchange without gawking too much or making a fool of himself. That changed once he was out the door and climbing into his car.  
   
"Holy fuck you just served James Bond."  
   
"James Bond?"  
   
"And good goddamn was he good looking. Did you see his waist? He cuts a fine line in a suit, I'd bet-"  
   
"Where are you getting James bond?"  
   
Erin blinked at him, "Did you not get a good look at him? You are the one who served him. The man looked like he stepped out a Bond movie."  
   
Shortly after that any further conversation about Mr. Bond had been cut short by a grey hound bus full of teenagers stopping at the neighboring Taco Bell, half of whom decided that donuts made a better lunch than tacos.  
   
Mr. Bond had, after that, become a regular at the shop. Coming in before the morning rush. He rarely ordered the same thing any two days in a row and always took his time in ordering.  
   
James was quickly becoming smitten with him over their morning exchanges.  
   
****  
  **VividBlue** _[8:19 pm]_ : I never want to serve high school students again.  
**Fassinating** _[8:22 pm]:_ What?  
**VividBlue** _[8:23 pm]_ :It was a field trip I think. I don't know. All I know is that a bus pulled into the Taco Bell next door and we were suddenly swamped with teens.  
_< <[8:23 pm]_: By the time they left there was almost no food left  
_< <[8:26 pm]_: You're laughing at me, aren't you?  
**Fassinating** _[8:27 pm]_ : No! Would I do that?  
**VividBlue** _[8:27 pm]_ : yes  
**Fassinating** _[8:28 pm]_ : I love you :)  
**VividBlue** _[8:28 pm]_ : I love you too  
 ****  
   
Michael couldn't help but smile at the screen. The conversations were, truly, the highlight of his day. Even if VividBlue, whose real name was James, was dubious about it. Well, technically his talks with James and his trips to get coffee from the Dunkin Donuts that was on the way his work., where there was second-James with his too blue eyes and infectious smile.  
   
And it wasn't like he was _cheating_ on Vivid with second-James. They weren't technically in a relationship. Technically.  
   
So why did he feel so guilty?  
   
Michael ran his hands through his hair, letting out a groan. He was in love with Vivid, who he's never even seen a picture of, and now he was falling for the barista who served him coffee every morning.  
   
****  
  **VividBlue** _[8:17 pm]_ : I'm not feeling well  
**Fassinating** _[8:18 pm]_ : D:  
_< <[8:18 pm]_: How bad are you feeling?  
**VividBlue** _[8:19 pm]_ : Bad enough that I can't go into work, I'm trying to find someone to cover for me but everyone is either not picking up or busy.  
**Fassinating** _[8:20 pm]_ : I hope you better soon, I'll see if I can get on during work to chat  
 ****  
   
"Morning!"  
   
Erin grinned at Mr. Bond's greeting, someone who apparently "relied" on coffee should sound so perky this early in the morning.  
   
"Good morning, just give me a moment here and I'll  get your coffee right quick." Erin said, concentrating more on making sure that the bean made it into the grinder instead of onto the counter. Tossing the empty bean bag in the trash when she was done Erin tined to serve Mr. Bond. Standing at the counter, he was not-so-subtly trying to look over the low wall that divided the employee's area from the rest of the shop.  
   
"Looking for something?"  
   
"Sort of, is James here?"  
   
Erin tried desperately not to grin, " um, no actually. He had to call in, apparently he isn't feeling well."  
   
Mr. Bond's shoulders slumped "I see. Well, I hope he feels better."  
   
"I'm sure he'll be here tomorrow. What can I get for you?"  
   
"Hm? Oh, a medium with cream."  
   
"Right away," Erin gave a mock salute. It didn't even take thirty seconds for her to make his order but already Mr. Bond's was pulling out his wallet so he could pay. No secrets about who his favorite employee  was. When she presented him with his coffee, he presented her with his card.  
   
_"Oh,"_ she thought, _"that's different. Usually he pays with cash."_ Erin said nothing as she took his card, glancing down to check the name and signature on the back.  
   
_Michael Fassbender._  
   
With a quick movement she slid his card through and handed it back.  
   
"Have a nice day," Erin smiled.  
   
Mr. Bond (Michael, her mind intoned) gave her one of his toothy grins.  
   
"If you talk to James let him know that I missed him today and that I hope he gets better soon."  
   
****  
  **Fassinating** _[9:13 am]_ : ♥♥♥♥  
_< <[9:13 am]_: Look! I learned how to make hearts!  
**VividBlue** _[9:14 am]_ : Aren't you supposed to be working?  
**Fassinating** _[9:15 am]_ : Something went wrong with the computer, we can't get anything done. Besides I wanted to see how you are doing. Feeling any better?  
**VividBlue** _[9:16 am]_ : Yeah, I'll probably be able to go in tomorrow  
 ****  
   
James ended up calling just as Erin started the end of shift cleanup. In order to keep cleaning and talk to James at the same time Erin had tucked the phone near a register and left it on speakerphone.  
   
"So how are you feeling?" Erin asked, wiping down the donut display case.  
   
"I'm actually feeling much better. Sorry to have left you alone today, I tried to find someone else to cover for me but-" the phone made James' voice tinny but Erin was sure she could hear a slight rasp.  
   
"It's fine."  
   
"Are you sure?"  
   
Erin grunted as she tried to reach the back of the donut display, "positive, it's been abnormally slow today. Oh! And guess what."  
   
"What?"  
   
"Mr. Bond missed you this morning. Literally. He told me to tell you that he missed you and hopes you feel better soon."  
   
James' end of the line was silent for several moments before he scoffed.  
   
"You're bullshitting me."  
   
"No, I'm not!"  
   
"You are."  
   
" _You_ are in denial. You just don't want to admit that you two have the hots for each other."  
   
"I'm quite happy with my talks with Michael, thank you."  
   
Erin froze, _Michael… he can't mean…_ "Who is-"  
   
"Fass, the guy I met online."  
   
"Fass?"  
   
"His real name is Michael but his screen-name is Fassinating. Spelt F-A-S-S instead of F-A-S-C."  
   
It wasn't until hours later, when Erin was crawling into bed, that she realized the similarities.  
   
****  
  **Fassinating** _[10:05 pm]_ : ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥  
**VividBlue** _[10:06 pm]_ : You're sweet, easily amused, but sweet.  
**Fassinating** _[10:06 pm]_ : ♥  
****  
   
James had hardly walked through the door when Erin practically attacked him. Going on about some insanity about how Mr. Bond ("Michael! Mr. Bond's name is Michael! And so is that guy you chat with right!?") was the same man as Fass ("It's all in the last name! Bond paid with his card yesterday, his last name is Fassbender, FASSbender!"). It was insane, and idiotic. There was no possible way that they were the same people. That was the type of things that happened in bad romantic comedies and romance novels. It was cheesy and impossible.  
   
"You won't' even think about it? Just ask him!"  
   
Utterly ludicrous.  
   
"I doubt he'll take offence!"  
   
Completely and utterly idiotic. It was nothing more than a coincidence.  
   
****  
**Fassinating** _[6:48 pm]_ : I know we aren't technically supposed to share personal information on here but do you want to see a picture? It was taken by a colleague on a recent business trip to Venice.  
**VividBlue** _[6:49 pm]:_ I'd love to, I'll you a pic of me too  
**Fassinating** _[6:49 pm]_ : :D  
_< <[6:50 pm]_: http://i41.tinypic.com/35n8wn6.jpg  
**VividBlue** _[6:50 pm]_ : http://i39.tinypic.com/11uvvco.jpg  
**Fassinating** _[7:00 pm]_ : I...you...  
**VividBlue** _[7:00 pm]_ : YOU! YOU'RE HIM, you're Mr. Bond, Michael.... I... what  
****  
   
James stared numbly at the screen. It was him… Fass was Mr. Bond, Michael. Erin was right. It took all he had not to grab his coat and run to work.  
   
Michael was ready up to Dunkin Donuts right this second. Never mind that it was nine at night and James obviously wouldn't be there.  
   
It hardly mattered. Two years. They had known been chatting online for two years, and for the past year they had actually known each other. They had talked and flirted throughout their brief exchanges. James worrying that he was falling out of love with Fass while Michael nursed a growing guilt. Neither got that much sleep that night.  
   
The next morning it was raining. Yet James couldn't seem to stop moving. Erin was startled at just how quickly he was doing things; setting out bagels and donuts, making fresh coffee, double checking that the sandwich station was properly stocked, _rearranging the chairs in the dining area._ Anything he could do to keep his hands occupied, anything to stop him from staring out the store front and watching the cars zip by, keeping an eye out for Michael's sleek black Mercedes. James was busy wiping down the sandwich station (for the third time) when Michael pulled in, tires spraying water.  
   
James flew to the door, sending the swing door flying open hard enough for it to slam against the wall, startling Erin. Heedless of the rain he ran as fast as he could across the parking lot to Michael's car. The door to the Mercedes swung open the moment the car stopped. Leaving the door open and the engine running he vaulted over the hood and met James halfway.  
   
The kiss was messy. Full of tongue and teeth and giddy desperation. Michael cradled James' face, grinning into the kiss.  
   
"We're a pair of idiots aren't we?"  
   
James was on his toes, kissing up along Michael's Jaw. He hummed in agreement.  
   
"We need to make up for lost time." Michael grinned, pulling James back towards the car.  
   
They could both afford a day off.

**Author's Note:**

> Done for the McFassy AU!Challenge.  
> 35\. Obligatory barista!AU. James is working at a Starbucks (or Caffe Nero), Michael comes in every week/day for his morning coffee before going into work (thinking businessman/financier/politician). But, twist! Michael and James are both involved in an online relationship...which just happens to be with each other. Cue them both developing feelings through brief coffee exchanges but not dating because they're also a little in love with the person they chat with every night. It's one of those stories where the reader is like "IT'S OBVIOUS, GUYS" but the characters can't seem to get it right forever and thus UST, pining, comedy of errors, and eventual surprise!happy ending.
> 
> [Hey! You can find me on Tumblr, come chat :D](http://comp-lady.tumblr.com)


End file.
